When the speech was over, I got to thinking. How can a man change “so much”. We you’re an adult your grown and you are the person you will be for the rest of your life. Can anyone really change? Could I change from a ruthless drug lord to a simple city girl. Get a cute job, find a partner, and just live in the moment. No. That isn’t me. I could never settle for some empty, cheap, already done life. Merely thinking about that makes my stomach churn.

I quickly gathered my thoughts and exited the building. Something was wrong. I felt weak and confused. I looked at passersby like they were all freaks. They stared at me like I was the freak. I stumbled my way up to may apartment and crashed n my bet. About five minutes later I heard a snap and everything went black.

I was in my bathroom tied to the toilet by rusty chains. In front of me was Chico with a sadistic smile. He mumbled an inaudible phrase and five other men entered the room. I was about to die. They al lunged towards me and I woke up in the devils office.

“I gave you another chance and you blew it violet”

“I know but please”

“NO” he interjected

“Time to burn for eternity”

The room became engulfed in flames and I woke up in a hospital bed.

“You had a seizure” said the nurse.

“Everything is going to be ok”

….No it wasn’t. I couldn’t feel my legs.

    I am a changed man. I don’t feel like the swimmer I once was. Swimming was my entire life, I loved swimming more than air, and we all need air, but I don't need swimming. I think that I need to find who I am because I'm not just an athlete, I'm a human being with feelings and emotions who need more experiences in his life. I want to learn how to love something not just because it can give me money or fame but because it gives me wholeness.
    People that look at a guy like me and call me a disgrace but I'm just a person. People like me mess up all the time, but because they're not famous, they don't get punished for it. I think that people should live a day in my shoes and see how all the fortune and parties and instant “friends” can change them. People who constantly tell you how great and talented you are, are not the people you need. People that lie to you no matter how wrong you will make you forget the values that you were raised with.
    I'm talking to you all today to tell you that no one stays the same. We all grow up and change for better or worse. I just hope you all give me that chance. Often celebrities are painted as perfect, and if they aren’t perfect something must be wrong with them. I’m here to tell you that isn’t true. Just like you’ve all done bad things so have I. I'm allowed to mess up and learn from my mistakes. Thank you for listening to my TED Talk. I hope you all learned something new about me today and now know to treat famous people with the same respect as someone who isn’t.

Oh god, it was hot. So hot my forehead glowed with sweat. I hated that I was so out in the open like this. An open-air cafe is not the best spot for a drug deal, but I needed to get this done as soon as possible. So I guess an oily forehead is a price I have to pay. Mr. Evan’s murder has shaken people up. The streets aren’t as packed as usual. People tend to stay inside when n there is a killer on the loose. Oh well.
He was here. I sensed him near. I quickly composed myself and made I look like I had to know idea he was approaching. He sat down. I let out a surprised gasp, and he goes,
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“Oh it’s fine I said, Let's get to it,” I say all flustered like.
    He pulled out a briefcase and began shuffling papers. Reading off a list of products to procure. I agreed to get them, and he decided to transfer. 1.5 million into my account. The old me would’ve killed a man for offering me that chump change, but that was the alive me.
He reminded me to keep my mouth shut about this little transaction.
“Mr. Evan’s had a big mouth, and now he’s in a big grave,” he remarked.
    On my way back to my apartment. I kept having the sense that I was going to have a strange encounter sooner than I thought. On the elevator, there was a woman who seemed to have an unusually glowing aura. It looked like she knew me. Maybe I knew her in a past life. However, I didn't care. If she did know me, she had to die, end of story. She got off right before I could read her mind. Shame. If she ever shows up again, I’d take care of her.
    I slumped into my bed and got the sense that the next couple of weeks were going to be extremely eventful.

   “Oh lord I hate this place” sighed Gloria as she passively leaned forward to stir her coffee, black as night. The soft glow of artisan candles bathed her hair in warm light as she slumped back in her chair. This was my favorite spot in Point Place. Jumping Beans. This little nook has the best brew for miles. 
    “Jesus Christ Gloria. Then why did you come here?” I said 
    “We need to talk, and you know it,” she sharply whispered
    Gloria is the daughter of my enemy, Chico. She was extraordinarily beautiful, smart, and cunning, and above all, a traitor. Gloria Hernandez was a key figure in orchestrating my demise. I was young and powerful, and so was she, our friendship was instant, and our passion was like an explosion. We were lovers for a while, but soon feelings began to fade. Little did I know she was snitching to Chico about my little side business. Yet here she is with a fake concerned look on her face thinking I didn’t know what she’d been up to. She’s here to “help me” get back on my feet or whatever she calls it. Much to her misfortune, I know damn well what she’s here for. To kill me.
    “Can we go somewhere safer” she suggestively says like I’m so easily fooled.
    “Fine Gloria,” I say all fake annoyed like.
So I casually exit the store before her, and she soon follows. At this point, I’m struggling to hide my smile. I’ve already spotted the outline of the pistol tucked in the back of her jeans. The fact that she thinks a gun is all it takes to kill me is laughable. We walk down the sidewalk, across the street, and through the doors of my apartment. 
    “Hello, Ladies” quips Georgie as we briskly stalk through. I can feel him eyeing up Gloria. As he should, she’s gorgeous, but now I’m annoyed because I will have to wipe his memory since he won't be seeing her walk out.
    Not one word is said after the door of my unit closes. I turn around to see Gloria with a gun trained at my head, but her face engulfed in agony. Paralyzed. So sad that a cold and calculated monologue with sinister overtones will be the last thing she hears before her inevitable end.

The sun rose, and I was alive

The sun rose, and I was alive. A childish grin crept onto my face. “My spell had worked!”, I thought. At least one good thing happened today. Like a kid on Christmas, I creeped out of my bedroom, into the hallway to gleefully find him. Laughter bubbled from my throat as I gazed upon his paralyzed cold as ice corpse. Chico had sent his toughest most feared goon, Xavier, a tattooed muscle sadist with a thing for blondes. There he lay, in my stained carpet hallway. The enchantment I put on the apartment gifts any intruder with an agonizing and terrifying death. My amusement quickly turned into annoyance when I realized how hard it was going to be to dispose of him. All the cutting, boiling, and wrapping would hijack my entire morning, but what is one morning compared to life in prison.

I left the cartel years ago, but burning bridges would be an understatement when describing how I “gracefully departed.” I was on the top, no the top of the top. I had thousands of guns waiting for my order to kill. We were moving product across nations in mere days, pulling in a ridiculous amount of revenue. I let one of my lackeys get a little to close, and sure enough, she slit my throat. If I weren’t magical, that would have been the end of Violet Cortez. However, while in hell I haggled with the devil to let me have one more chance at life. Of course, this deal didn’t come without a cost, but we will get to that later. After my revival, I concluded that my demise was orchestrated by none other than Chico, my supposed mentor in the game of cocaine. I guess he thought I was getting a little “too cocky,” but is that reason enough to slit your daughter's throat? In this game, maybe. Word must have gotten to him that I was still alive. Considering he watched me bleed out, I can only imagine how surprised he is.

The blaring melody of police sirens penetrated my thin apartment walls. I tiptoed to the window to look down and see my entire block infested with police. I saw that hooker, Coco, standing on the sidewalk looking more shaken than usual. This was going to be an interesting week.